Nightlight
by BaneBlight
Summary: Beast Boy is having trouble sleeping, and one Titan makes it her mission to help him out, whether he wants it or not. Perhaps there is more to Garfield's insomnia. BBxRae (needlessly turned into a two-shot,sorry)
1. Chapter 1

Nightlight

It may keep some of the darkness at bay, but it ends up making more shadows. He knew that it didn't ameliorate his fears but he couldn't bring himself to get rid of it; it was far too precious. In his mind, it was the only thing that tied his past to him.

While the rest of the tower hushed itself into bedtime, one particular Titan was having trouble going to sleep. Beast Boy had tried everything. He tossed and turned, tried every possible position known to man (and a few canines) to make himself comfortable. But to no avail. Sleep would not greet him that autumn night. It never did. No matter what he tried to do, he just couldn't close his eyes and go to dreamland on October 20th for the past fourteen years.

He just couldn't let his mind wander back to those old memories, but at the same time, he couldn't resist either. The pain was a sweet kind of pain. He just lay in his bed, turned over, facing his nightlight. It was his most guarded secret. Even his main man Cyborg didn't know about it. And he prayed with every fibre of his being that it wouldn't come to light. Just think about it. A seventeen year old superhero who had taken on some of the world's deadliest villains and survived the most impossible of scenarios. And he still kept a nightlight.

He just remained in bed, while holding with the cause of his recent insomnia. The nightlight looked more like a lava lamp with it's conical shape and it's seemingly liquid interior. He was tipping it with his fingers while his mind drifted to wonder what would happen if it were to be discovered.

What would the Doom Patrol say?

What would the Titans say?

"That is a pretty good question. What would we think? ".

The sudden voice came behind him. Surprised and shocked out of his wits, Beast Boy let out a yelp and fell off his bed. He slowly raised his head above his bed and was even more shocked when he realized who the perpetrator was.

"Raven?", he managed to ask while still in shock.

"You were expecting someone else?", she asked sarcastically.

'Actually I wasn't expecting anyone', he found himself thinking instinctively.

He couldn't see her clearly in the dark, the greenish hue from his nightlight only revealed a short figure sitting on his chest of drawers. Her response was almost as confusing as her presence in his room. It was completely reciprocal to her usual MO of interacting with teammates.

"What are you doing in my room?", he asked quizzically.

"What are you doing still awake?", she asked back, in an innocent tone.

Beast Boy found himself taken aback, not by the question but the way it was spoken. Raven clearly wasn't being her usual self. What was she doing here anyway?

"I can't sleep. "

" Well, thank you for stating the obvious. Allow me to rephrase." She cleared her throat and spoke again.

"Why can't you sleep tonight? "

Beast Boy found himself stunned by the question.

'What the hell is going on here?! She comes to my room in the dead of night, doesn't answer my questions and starts interrogating me? Is this even Raven or an intruder pretending to be her for some dastardly purpose.'. The second theory seemed more plausible.

He was about to retort with his own questions when a tiny voice in the back of his mind spoke. He didn't usually hear from him, but Reason seemed to have something important to say. 'This is completely unlike her. Whatever she is doing is probably important. If we keep asking questions like this we won't make it through the night! Just let her lead, and we'll see how it goes on from here.' Beast Boy had to admit, Reason was on to something.

He had managed to collect what little of his pride he had left and made it his way back to his bed, sitting upright against the bedhead.

"I dunno, I just can't sleep tonight", he replied to her question.

"Hmmm, ok. Then tell me, why is it you have trouble sleeping this day every year?", she asked in a curious tone.

Beast Boy was too flabbergasted to speak.

"I'm an empath, remember? You're emotions get all over the place at this time each year."

She got off his drawers and made it to his bed. Placing herself on the opposite end of the bed, she entered the dim light and Beast Boy could see a tiny sympathetic smile across her face. She really wasn't feeling right...

"It's just an old, painful memory. Stuff happened that day and I keep remembering it. That's why I can't sleep. It's the day my cat ran away.", he said. He tried to keep eye contact to ensure her that he was telling the truth. Through the darkness he noticed that her tiny smile had disappeared and he knew that she saw through his lie.

"Beast Boy, how long have we been friends?", she asked with a sigh.

"About five years. ", he replied, almost without thinking.

" And in these past years have I ever done anything to deliberately hurt you? "

" No. "

" Then when will you finally stop lying to me and just tell me the truth so I can help you? ", she asked, almost pleading.

" What makes you think I need help? ", he shot back. There was no way he was going to reveal everything just because she was crying.

Wait, what? Crying? That's when he noticed a single tear escape Raven's watery eyes.

She blinked back her tears, regained her composure and replied in the cold monotone he knew her by.

"Beast Boy, something happened to you years ago on this night. I don't know what, but it was painful for you. I don't want you to recall what happened, because I know that it would hurt. But, I need you to tell me what happened. Right now, you may not know what emotions you're feeling, but if you let them linger they would soon consume you. "

She spoke calmly, with an air of conformity, as if she knew exactly what she was talking about and that he would too. She had been staring dead at him, and broke her gaze and reverted it to the nightlight.

"I don't know how or why, but I think that nightlight is part of the problem. You've... clung all of your thoughts and emotions on to it, like an anchor or something. "

A moment or two passed before Beast Boy spoke.

"Are you reading my mind, because you have no right to do that. I swear Raven, if I find out you were reading my mind I'm gonna... ". The scowl on his face and the tone of his voice betrayed his attempt to conceal his anger. 'Why did you ask her a question? You know she is just going to deflect it, and that'll make you even madder.' Damn it, Reason!

Raven remained silent upon his outburst, Beast Boy couldn't figure out if she was trying to calm herself down or pondering on how to reply. The young sorceress had thus far ensured that their nocturnal meeting wouldn't boil over because of either of their tempers. After a few moments, he noticed the very edge of her lips ever so slightly arch. She was smiling again, and then spoke.

"Beast Boy, you're my friend and I respect your privacy and wouldn't ever invade your mind. But currently my powers are going a little haywire. I am not going to tell you how or why, but my empathic powers have been increased. I may not be able to read your mind, but I can feel your thoughts. I do not know exactly what they mean but I get a decent idea of what you're feeling. I'm sorry, but I can't help it at the moment. As to your previous question as to what I'm doing in your room, I'm here to help my friend through a problem." She leaned closer towards him, the dim green light revealing the teary pleading eyes. "But I can't help you until you let me."

Beast Boy could feel his defenses crumbling. He had so far been able to keep up a sense of strength and control, but Raven's words went straight through them. He didn't know if it was her words, the sincerity in her voice, her benevolent tone, her pleading eyes or the fact that she recognized his pain and came to help him. He was staring right into her sympathetic violet eyes and he couldn't hold it in any longer. The dams burst, and hot streams of tears escaped his eyes and trickled down his face.


	2. Chapter 2

In hindsight, I think the summary for this story ended up being a "suggestive". I guess I was a bit more naive back then.

CHAPTER 2

It took him a couple of moments to stop crying and regain his composure. There was no reason for either of them to rush. Beast Boy had to let out what seemed to be years of suppressed emotions; he was whimpering like a baby. Meanwhile, Raven remained sitting next to him, patiently waiting for him to end his catharsis and tell her.

It took Beast Boy a few moments to control his tears. He had been crying and sobbing like a child and the first sane thought to cross his mind was stupidity. He found everything to be stupid. He was pathetic and stupid for being awake at night, for keeping a nightlight, being rude to Raven and above all, crying in front of her. She was stupid too, showing up late at night, bugging him, asking to know about stuff that didn't concern her and making him cry.

'Yeah, that's right. Let's take out all of our anger and frustration on the only one person in the world trying to help you out.' Not now Reason! 'You do remember her saying something about being able to feel your emotions, don't you?

That lone sane thought was able to stop his other thoughts in their tracks. He looked up to Raven, her facial expressions showing no reaction, giving the impression that she didn't hear them. But then again, she was renowned for keeping herself in check, wasn't she?

They established eye contact for a while but none of them spoke. Silence was beginning to engulf them and break whatever momentum the conversation had created.

"Beast Boy, I understand that you may not wish to recollect and recite those memories that haunt you. I understand how you must feel. So instead of telling me, let me see them for myself.", the sorceress spoke, in a kind, almost benevolent tone.

His widened eyes and the newly formed wrinkles on his forehead showed that he wasn't a fan of this proposition. As if reading his mind, she spoke,

"Don't worry. I won't be prodding around your mind. I will leave all your thoughts and memories as they are. I will only catch what I need to see."

Without waiting for his reply she extended her hands towards his face. Before he could protest, her cool hands made contact with his cheeks. The tantalizing sensation of her fingers against his cheeks had an eerily calming effect on him. It was as if all his thoughts, pain and hate had melted away and would never return. He closed his eyes, relishing his new found peace. At the same time, he wondered why her hands felt so cold, realizing then and there that they only felt cold against his flushed cheeks. Her hands only felt cool because he was warm. He was warm because he had been crying. He had been crying because he didn't want to recollect his feelings. Beast Boy's perplexing train of thought had brought him to one conclusion. He really did need help.

He silently nodded as consent. Raven then closed her eyes. And just like that, in a fraction of a second, she saw a lifetime of pain and sorrow.

Beast Boy didn't feel a thing, and was mildly surprised when Raven removed her hands. He expected it to be more time consuming, maybe even an incantation, or at the very least some sort of a light show.

"You're still a child, you know that?", her voice was devoid of emotion.

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Yeah, I did. But I have no idea what you mean."

"You could've told us how you've felt from the beginning. You still miss them. You know you do. You know it's tearing you up inside. But you chose to simply hide them from everyone else, because then you can pretend nothing ever happened."

"Yeah? Well I'm sorry I'm not as good as hiding my feelings from everyone else like you."

"I keep my emotions in check, Garfield. You on the other hand are trying to get rid of them. You're trying to pretend that everything bad that happened to you, didn't happen, so you can hide from the pain. Like a child."

"You miss your parents. You miss Terra. But more than that, you feel guilty and punish yourself for what happened to them. Even though there was nothing you could do to save them. You're not the only one in the tower who knows what it's like to lose someone. Robin, Cyborg, even Starfire went through the same things that you feel. I'm sure that they'd help you out if you'd open up to the-"

"Then maybe one of them should be the one giving me a lecture. You're the last person qualified for this position. And what do you know about pain, anyway? You've never lost anyone else."

Raven's mouth remained half, she was stunned by what she heard him say. Her smile disappeared as she carried an all new dejected look on her face. "Th-Th-That's not true."She faltered.

The silence that followed was inarguably the most unnerving of all. He knew he shouldn't have said it. He crossed a line . For the first time all night, he felt guilt. Guilt for hurting someone he called family. He was just so mad at her that the words just seemed to come out of his mouth on their own.

'Yeah, that makes it OK,' he heard a sarcastic voice. NOT NOW.

She had broken eye contact, and just stared into the darkness. He really messed up now. "I've made a mistake...". Her voice trailed off. She continued to look away, but whether she was punishing him or just lost in thought, he couldn't tell.

That flutter of anxiety he had felt had grown into a Category 4 storm. What the hell had he done? What was he thinking, saying something like that to Raven. She's his friend. No, she more than that. She's family. And family does what she was doing, they help each other out. But he was doing his best to make sure that she failed. She was trying to help him out, and he just kept pushing her away? Had he pushed her to far, to the point that she wouldn't want to come back? Beast Boy's train of thought had stolen him from reality. He almost didn't hear her the first time she spoke.

"I get it now."

What?

"And all this time I thought you were trying to be macho, that you were trying to power through the guilt you felt over what happened to everyone else. But that's not it. What you feel, it isn't guilt or anger." She paused, and turned to him, her eyes piercing his own.

"It's fear."

"I assumed, after all these years, you were just angry at fate for taking everything from you. In truth, you are, but that's merely a layer you've formed to protect yourself. At the very center of all of this is fear; you're just afraid of losing others."

Tears were beginning to re-emerge in his eyes. He just stared at her, mouth gaped. The fact that she had pulled a truth about him, one even he didn't know about it, was quite disarming; he couldn't retort or debunk her theory. He worried that she was right.

Mustering what little control he had over his dry throat he said, "Fear? What do you even know about it?" Do you even have any idea what it's like losing everything. I saw my parents drown while I stood at the peer. I couldn't do anything. And when Terra came, I felt... I felt like I was home again. And even though I did everything I could, I couldn't help her either." He looked up to her and said, almost ferally,

"Do you have any idea how I felt, huh Raven?"

Raven just stared in reply to his glare. He was full of hate and anger, over being mistreated and borderline ridiculed over his past. His question was poised to trap her, as when she would say no, he would assault her lack of knowledge over the issue and emerge triumphant.

While he glared at her, he noticed the edge of her mouth once again spread into the thin smile she brought with her when she came into his room. She moved herself closer to him, still supporting that sympathetic smile, and did the one thing she had only done once before. She hugged him.

"Yes." , she whispered.

The unexpected act of affection had slipped through his design, and that very affection had crumbled his defenses. Whatever negative emotion he was harboring, just melted away from the warmth of the hug. His eyes were full to the brim in tears and he could no longer keep them in. He began to cry again, hugging her back.

"Th-They didn't de-deserve what happen-ed to them.", he said, his voice cracking under the weight of his emotional turmoil.

"Who is to say that you deserved to get your powers Beast Boy? Or for Cyborg to lose his body? Or Robin to lose his family? Or Starfire? How many people do you know who got exactly what they deserved? Bad things always happen. Life is full of unexpected moments, both good and bad. We just have to make peace with it.", she said lovingly, as a parent would to a child.

"How can I move on", he pleaded, "knowing that the people I cared about are no longer with me. How can you expect to me to make peace with everything when I know that bad things are going to happen."

"I'm not asking you to forget about them. I want you to remember them. To cherish all the good times you had. I want you to only acknowledge the bad times, not to clutch on to them."

Bad things always happen.

He didn't say anything, but his silence was one of understanding, not protest. This was good. He was finally listening. She continued, "Beast Boy. All these things happened years ago. Don't you think you should let it go now?"

"No."

She smiled. "Do you really think that you're parents and Terra would want you to be like this. They'd want you to be happy. To move on and live your life. Honor their memory.

"I can't promise you that the pain will go away. Or that the darkness will ever go away. But I can promise you two things."

She finally broke off the hug, her hands still holding on to his shoulders. Her eyes were at an arm's length from his.

"First, I'll never leave you. Second thing I can promise you is that if you just try, just a little, you'll see that there is more light in the world than the sadness. You just have to go and find it."

As if on cue, she pointed to the thin stream of light that had managed to sneak through his curtains.

'It's dawn already?'

His thought was interrupted as her hands moved from his shoulders and to his face. As he faced the cause of this disturbance, he froze as Raven moved in and planted a soft kiss on his forehead.

She pulled back, smiling. But not that confusing small smile he got to see tonight. No, she was positively beaming.

"I want you to remember that, OK? You have to promise me that you'll never forget it. Oh, would you look at the time? I think I should go to bed now and catch up on a few hours of sleep at least. Besides, I suppose you have some unfinished business to take care off. Well, goodnight, or should I say good morning."

And with that, she dashed to the door and exited, not even bothering to wait for him to return the courtesy. Her exit was just as random and abrupt as her presence was in his room. Beast Boy just blankly stared at the door, still bewildered by the events of the past minute, nay , the events that occurred throughout the night. What had happened, anyway? It was like the two of them went on a roller-coaster of emotions, touring his past. He broke his vision from the door, and looked at the nightlight. It's light was beginning to dim come the dawnlight. He picked it up, and stared at it as if he were examining an ancient relic.

He smiled to himself.

"I promise, Raven. Thank you."

After careful consultancy with myself I have decided to turn this one-chapter-story-turned-two-chapter into a three chapter story. Why? Because I can. That and because I want to write one more chapter, to highlight all the things I didn't explain here. When will this chapter come out, you say? Difficult to say, and I won't make any promises. I mean, just look how long it took me just to upload the 2nd chapter!

A shoutout to all of you who read chapter one when it came out, read it, subscribed (lol, idk why) and to those who were kind enough to drop in a comment. It means a lot. Thank You.

As always, please leave your thoughts in the comments, whether you like it, hate it, criticism, your opinion, flames, anything.

Have a good day.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Raven scampered through the hallway to her room, while holding her head as if fending off a headache. She swiftly shut the door behind her and exhaled. Both her mind and body were exhausted. She sat on the floor,resting her back against the door and closed her eyes, as she allowed the familiarity of her room to bring her some relief.

"I did it", she thought to herself. "It wasn't easy, but I did it."

"Just in the nick of time too."She heard a voice in front of her.

She opened her eyes to see another figure in her room,sporting a pink cloak.

Happiness stood before her, wearing her signature beaming smile. She looked down at Raven, who returned her gaze with a dazzled stare.

She continued to stare at her 'emoticlone' until a thud sound of a book being closed diverted her from her thoughts. Knowledge appeared from behind Happy. "I'd scold you for being so reckless with your own health, but I'm sure you wouldn't listen. But all in all, you managed to come back here just in time .If you took anymore time there, you're headache would've metastasized into a full blown migraine, with the added possibility of melting your brain."

Raven continued to carry a bewildered look on her face, trying to figure out what was happening. She reached the conclusion; there was only one possibility.

"I'm hallucinating, aren't I?"

"Duh", Knowledge said, and re-opened the book she had closed and immersed her in it.

"You'd think the headache that feels like there's a battering ram inside my head would've been enough."

"True. Hallucinating wasn't listed among the other the side effects, but I presume this is because of the way you've got your mind made up."

Raven smiled to herself, "I can't catch a break, can I?"

"Oh sweetheart, you don't get to drug yourself, while knowing the dire consequences it would have on a normal person, while also forgetting that you are in no way a normal person, and expect any form of sympathy from others. Even if said others are your own personalities."

Raven's smile evolved into a small chuckle. There was no arguing with the very personification of her intellect. "I guess you're right."

"You're damn right I am.", Knowledge said, with an air of arrogance and sass unheard of in Raven.

"But I had to do it. I had to make the _v_ _eraque captura,_ and I had to drink it. It would've amplified my powers to the extent needed to help Beast Boy."

Knowledge was about to retort and berate Raven, but was interrupted by a giddily jumping Happy, who was raising and waving her hand as if wanting to ask a question. She filled up the silence.

"I'm sorry." she said merrily. But can someone remind me why we...uh I mean you, help Beast Boy. Why did we have to?"

Knowledge suddenly struck her on the head with her book. "You interrupted me for a question you should remember the answer to. How on Earth could you forget why Raven did what she did? YOU are Raven, too." She began to rub her forehead, soothing the pain caused by her clone's idiocy.

"Beast Boy...", Raven began, her voice cracking. "Garfield was, is in fact, depressed. Every year around this time, the anniversary of his parents' death, it would get worse. And with each passing year he allowed himself to be consumed by his despair. Sure, he plays the fool, but deep down, the guilt and fear was tearing him up inside. If I didn't intervene, there's a good chance he would've succumbed to the darkness, and end up hurting himself."

"Ohh, now I get it. So you, I mean we, made the empathy amplifying drinking thingie so we could talk to him, and use your heightened senses to steer him into... ummm... what did we do again?". Her question merited her being hit again by Knowledge, not hiding her annoyance from Happy's aloofness.

"WE", Raven emphasized, "didn't do anything. I took the draught so I could sense what he was feeling and understand his thinking, so that I could control the conversation. All we've done so far was shed some light on his gloom. Remind him of reasons to be happy. What happens now, however, is entirely up to him."

"It would be funny if ,despite your little experiment, the little goblin ends up killing himself anyway.", said Rage, who materialized lying on the bed, grinning at the thought.

She continued to jeer, and amuse herself to the thought, while to others tried to ignore her words.

"While I don't share Red's nihilistic views. I do have to ask. Why? Why did you have to put yourself in harm's way to help him out of the slim possibility that he would've killed that's the case, why not leave the superhero gig and open up your own damn psych ward or something. I can see it now;the emotionless therapist. I'm sorry Raven, but I, as your persona of reason, can't see a single reason why you would even bother to, much less risk, do what you did."

Raven could tell that Knowledge was upset about this, even before she started this nocturnal undertaking. She wanted to say a hundred things, but she knew that Knowledge would not be able to comprehend them. Raven had a history of making rational decisions. This wasn't rational. But she knew she didn't have to explain it to Knowledge. For the one emoticlone that understood Raven's thoughts stood behind Knowledge, and didn't hesitate to strike her on the head.

"Ow", Knowledge exclaimed, as she turned out around to face her assailant.

"Because she loves him, you idiot. I swear, Knowledge, you have to be pretty dumb to not notice how she feels about this. This wasn't about logic or reason, it was simply about looking out for someone she cares deeply for.", Passion said, her purple cloak waving as she walked to Raven and offered her to stand up.

Raven accepted her offer, and tried to take her hand, forgetting that it was just a projection of her own thoughts and stumbled as her hand phased through Passion's. Knowledge rolled her eyes.

"You should go to sleep now. I don't want us catching that nasty little headache of yours." Knowledge said, her voice no longer resonating with her characteristic pride.

Raven walked to her bed ( Rage had disappeared), took of her cloak and was about to lie down until Happy spoke.

"I have one last question", she said , defensively looking at Knowledge who no longer appeared to be in a mood to physically remark to her inquiries. She turned her gaze back to Raven and said. " You mentioned that the nightlight was the "anchor of his thoughts", what did you mean?"

All clones looked to Raven, even Knowledge, waiting for a reply as Raven lied in bed,closed her eyes and yawned.

"His parents gave him that little nightlight when he was three. He was holding it in hands, moving his things to the dock, when he saw his parents's ship sink. That nightlight is a reminder of his dread. An anchor that ties him down in a storm of his own fear and insecurities. To him, it's a reflection of himself; fighting against the darkness but never truly lighting the way."

The clones remained silent, processing what she had said.

"Or so I guess, I'm no psych major."

Her fatigue had weighed down on her, and she soon fell asleep.

It had only been four hours, not a lot of time to recover from a migraine-type headache, when Raven was woken up by incessant knocking on her door. She grumbled as she faced her disruptor.

"What is it Robin? Just because you like to get up early doesn't mean you have to wake up the whole building too, you know." she said, in her renowned sarcastic monotone.

"Its 11 in the morning ,Raven.", seemingly unfazed by the bags under her eyes and her overall tired expression.

"I slept late; found a really good book on why you shouldn't wake people up to tell them the time."

Robin remained undaunted by her sarcasm. "Well that's all fine, and I hope you liked it, but I wanted to ask you about Beast Boy. His room is empty and all he left is a note on his desk saying something about going back to the Doom Patrol for a while to have some quality time with them.

"Well, if that's what it says I imagine that's what he went to do."

"As apprentice to the world's greatest detective I figured that out too. I just wanted to ask you if he told you something before he left, since he didn't tell anybody else anything.

"And what in the world makes you think he would've told me anything about this. He's brash and impulsive; he's known to be unpredictable. Let him be, I'm sure he'll come back when he's ready to."

"Well I figured that much.I know you'd be the last person he'd tell, but I had to ask to be certain. Anyway, I'll be going to the training room. You should go back to sleep, you look terrible."

"Thanks for the compliment," she said, as she slammed the door at his smirking face.

But she couldn't stop herself either. She was smiling, too. The knowledge that Garfield was out there, striving to live his life to the fullest was enough to melt her weariness away. Almost, anyway. But at least this time, she could sleep smiling.

AN: Thank you all for taking your time to read this excuse for a story, and ( above all) for your patience.I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did. Please drop in a review on your thoughts: whether you liked it, hated it, found a spelling error or two, or even plot holes. I'm all ears. And a very big thank you to all of you who have previously reviewed and Favorited this story. Every single review or Favorited notification filled up my heart with overbearing joy. Honestly.

Stay awesome. And try to find happiness, even when you can't find any.

Personal note: not my best work, I know. but I didn't want to make it too lengthy.


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